Moving to Florida with the unknown of creating a new life here made me reflect on my mental state and how it impacts my life and relationships. If we operate on autopilot, without pausing to reflect, it can create confusion and conflict both within ourselves and with others.

Yoga philosophy explains that everything begins in the mind. Our internal state is shaped by three core qualities: sattva, rajas, and tamas. These qualities influence our thoughts, emotions, and ultimately, our interactions with the world around us.

1. Sattvic mind: it is a pure, clear, and harmonious state. A person with a sattvic mind approaches life and relationships with empathy, seeking to support others the best they can. Their way of thinking is “I suffered in my life, I don’t want others to go through it the way I did.”

2. Rajasic mind: It is an active, passionate, and agitated state. A person with a rajasic mind might view life and relationships as something everyone should experience, whatever the suffering is. Their way of thinking is “I suffered, and so should others.”

3. Tamasic mind: It is an ignorant, inactive, and negative state. A person projects their hard life and relationship on others. Their way of thinking is  “I suffered, therefore I will make others suffer.”

As we learn more about the different mental states we experience, we can move away from being overly active or negative (raja and tamas, respectively). The three qualities of the mind are always present, though not equally strong. By being mindful and making deliberate choices, we can cultivate a balanced and peaceful state of mind (sattva).

Revisiting this concept of the nature of the mind inspired me to share it with my women's group. We discussed how we can observe our minds and how it affects our interactions with loved ones. I believe that looking inward and creating harmony in our own mind helps us understand others who might be feeling more active or negative.

In our circle, we talked about our attitudes towards our loved ones. Even though we try to be good friends, sometimes we might unintentionally do things that harm the connection. It takes courage to reflect on ourselves this way, and I want to acknowledge all the women in the group for their honesty and vulnerability. By understanding our own mental states, we can break free from negative patterns and better protect ourselves from people who might be frenemies.

Frenemies operate in the rajasic state, unlike tamasic enemies who directly inflict harm. Frenemies use subtle tactics like:

• Seeking attention through manipulation: Similar to manipulative politicians, they might criticize others to draw focus to themselves.

• Controlling under the guise of concern: Like cults, they claim best interests while hindering personal reflection and growth.

In our relationships, frenemy-like behavior can manifest as:

• Attention-seeking manipulation: Using guilt, flattery, or drama to control situations.

• Unrealistic expectations: Having rigid demands and feeling let down easily.

• Blindly following outdated rules: Clinging to past values without adapting to changing needs.

• Societal conditioning: Unconsciously repeating learned patterns that harm connections.

Cultivating a sattvic mind is key to true friendship. This involves:

• Self-awareness: Recognizing our own thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

• Self-reflection: Questioning limiting beliefs and past conditioning.

• Breaking free: Letting go of harmful patterns and outdated rules.

Yoga philosophy and mindfulness are powerful tools to cultivate a sattvic mind and gain emotional well-being. By reflecting on our beliefs and emotions, we can better understand ourselves and how they may be impacting our relationships. This self-awareness empowers us to let go of negativity and cultivate empathy for ourselves and others. 

Stay tuned we will talk about the tools to use in our next women's circle.