Why Do We Resist Change?

Life is a series of chapters, like children leaving home, a career shift, a health diagnosis, or the loss of a loved one, resistance is often our first response. It's a natural reaction of our mind, specifically the protective ego clinging to the illusion of control.

Vedic philosophy defines the mind as our best friend or worst enemy. It depends on how we use it. Our minds have two major players: the ego and the intellect. The ego craves control, believing it keeps us safe. It relies on past experiences and memories, seeking familiar ground when faced with the unknown. This can lead us to resist change, searching for the past in the present instead of adapting to the new experience.

By stepping back from the ego's need for control, we give space for the intellect to do its job: assess, analyze, and gain perspective. This doesn't mean erasing the past, but acknowledging its role while focusing on the present moment.

Years ago, when I lost my mother, my world shifted. While understanding her absence, a part of me clung to the illusion of her being alive. Unconsciously I was living in two realities, trapped by my memories and unable to embrace the new chapter.

The turning point came when I decided to process my grief. Through meditation, breathwork, and healers, I started to loosen the ego's grip. Holding onto the past was not protecting me; it was keeping me in pain.

As we resist change, even unconsciously, we suffer. Recognizing the ego's role in this resistance empowers us with tools to move forward. Here are some suggestions to detach ourselves from the controlling ego:

• Live in the present moment: Focus on the "now" instead of replaying the past or fearing the future. 

• Challenge limiting beliefs: Our conditioning and past experiences can shape limiting beliefs that hold us back. Question these beliefs and rewrite your narrative for the present.

• Visualize your future: Create a clear vision of the life you desire. This vision can serve as a guiding light, motivating you to take steps in the present. Not only imagine it but feel it in your body as it already happened.

• Grieve what needs grieving: Acknowledge and process your emotions, whether it's sadness, anger, or fear. suppressing emotions only fuels resistance.

• Create a "to-do" list of small, achievable steps that move you towards your goals and aspirations. Every step, no matter how small, is progress.

Change is inevitable. While the ego seeks comfort in the familiar, the intellect equips us to navigate the new. By letting go of the past, embracing the present, and taking action, we can transform resistance into motivation and create a life filled with growth and possibility.