Ritual

Recently, I helped my oldest son to move into his first apartment. 

It became very real that he is not a student anymore and won’t be coming over every month for the weekend.

I offered my help to drive with him to his new city because It was a 2 days drive (1000 miles). He also had to furnish his apartment. Before we left I thought that instead of worrying and being sad I would transform the experience into a rite of passage for both him and me.

We generally do not think of ourselves as an overly ritualistic society. but we are.

In fact, we have some rituals. first-day-of-school photos, proms, graduations, bachelorette parties, honeymoons, retirement parties, memorial concerts, and even sporting events—all of these are ritual events or practices that mark transitions in our lives.

One of the most essential features of rituals is that they do not only mark time; they create time. By defining beginnings and ends to developmental or social phases, rituals structure our social worlds and how we understand time, relationships, and change.

I transformed these 5 days with my son into a rite of passage. I let him decide where to stop to eat, make gas, or choose the direction. When we arrive at his new place with nothing in it. We went shopping, and he chose his furniture, making his own decision with me as a witness. 

It was a wonderful experience. After 5 days, he drove me back to the airport, I was so proud of him... and myself, I should say.